Why we criticise others

Why do we vehemently criticise other people about their imperfections? We do know that every human has weaknesses and that each of us is simply struggling through life without crashing under the weight of societal expectation.

And yet even with this knowledge, we still engage in the debilitating actions of making enemies by pointing out the mistakes of others. As humans, we judge ourselves harshly. We do not, as the saying goes, cut ourselves some slack. But the burden is made heavier by our brothers and sisters who criticise and put us down.

But why do we find fault with other people? Well, for starters, it is because the faults we see in others serve as a mirror to our own faults. Yes, the reason it irritates you when someone picks their nose in public is because you do it yourself. And since you already know this about yourself, it subconsciously reminds you of something you do not approve in yourself.

Image courtesy of memegenerator.net

The second reason, I believe is even more interesting. We pick others apart, for instance, that friend who loudly belches after a meal, because it serves as a mirror to something you would like the freedom to do. Just like children sometimes irritate us with their nagging, because they don't understand that in the "grown-up" world, once you ask for something, you wait until it's given. But no, children do not care about our feelings; they will cry and throw tantrums until they get what they want. And in this sense, we want permission to be able to do this.

However, due to the fact that we have grown up, we cannot behave in this manner. The moment we see others behaving like this, it reminds us of the freedom we don't have and it hurts, badly. Instead of looking for a way to express ourselves, we use the easiest weapon at our disposal, a sharp tongue.

What can we do? Remind ourselves that we are human and fully accept our faults, so that it does not hurt when we look at others. We should also give ourselves the freedom to be like children, so that the freedoms of others do not threaten us.

And that is my 2-ndururu worth of opinion...

Comments

Opportunities and challenges presented by the AfCFTA

President Kenyatta joined other African heads of state on March 21 in signing the #AfCFTA. What does this mean for Kenya? It means that Kenya's goods and services could have a broader market to sell to. It also means that locally made goods and services will face increased competition from similar products in the African market, especially if other countries have a comparative advantage. What is the projected net effect of these two sides of trade? Well, it's difficult to predict. It depends on which goods are on the schedule of reduction of tariffs both for other countries and Kenya. Pres. Kenyatta signs the AfCFTA Image courtesy of PSCU Looking at other similar regional pacts such as North America's #NAFTA or the EU, we can see that trade between countries increases many fold. But as in the case of Mexico which saw the bankrupting of peasant farmers due to cheap corn and other agricultural produce from subsidized American farms, the aggregate effect might be po...

What Africa may learn from Trump presidency

President-Elect Trump successfully ran under the banner of making America first, reducing foreign 'interference' and trying new ways to work with partners on the international scene to solve some intractable challenges. The first tenet, in my opinion, is something that should interest African nations, because of the collective acknowledged viewpoint of making Africa work for Africans. Looking back at the powers that scrambled for Africa more than 125 years ago to present day, we see challenges that have been brought about by the fact that Africa still remains a playground for western powers. The Democratic Republic of Congo fails to move forward due to the strong interests that keep fueling violence in order to continue the parasitic extraction of the vast resources with little benefit to the people of Congo. The CFA countries of Central and West Africa still depend on precolonial arrangements with France to manage their monetary policies, stealing the initiative fro...

Look, I am become a diplomat

"You speak very good English, where did you learn?" a person I just met asks. "In Kenya, in school…" I calmly reply. "Wow! You speak English in Kenya?" He continues. "Oh yes, we do …" The conversation goes into how we do (not) live with lions as pets and how I don’t run like "all" other Kenyans they've seen on TV. If you are wondering, this is an actual conversation I have had with persons I have met here in the US. This is not to say every conversation I have had goes this way. On the contrary, in the greater Washington metropolitan area where I live, this is the exception. Any time I have to field questions about Kenya, however, I feel as if the responsibility to represent Kenya and communicate its brand is upon my shoulders. This is despite not getting any training on this aspect of my travel experience. Some other well-meaning people have said, once hearing I am from Kenya, that they visited Uganda, Rwanda, Bots...

Munene, the journey...

Search This Blog