Growing up, it was common for our parents to encourage us and tell us how we could be anything we wanted in life. "You can do anything you set your mind to do!" They would cheer us on.
"Even the president?" We'd ask unconvinced.
"Yes, you could even become the richest man in the world!"
All this fascinated us. We vowed to ourselves that we'd in fact become people of substance who would be recognized in the entire world for our achievements. We'd ride in super-yachts like Abramovich and the rest of the mega-rich. We would produce life changing inventions, innovating our way to stardom. We'd become the next prodigy in music and sports.
All this is well and good, meant to lift our spirits. Assessing our lives however, no matter how much effort we have put in to realize our dreams and visions, they have eluded us. We have become adept at doing other things though: commenting on FB posts, retweets, identifying the hottest political issues and so on. We have in fact become what we vowed to shun, ordinary people. So, what went wrong?
The average driver thinks that he/she is above average. When we start a business, apparently the chances of closing shop in 10 years is 96% (or so). The chance of us being on earth right now is 1 in 200 million (sperms that fertilize the egg). The chance of being a billionaire is 1 in about 3 million. The probability we will win a Nobel peace prize each year is about 1 in 7 billion. The probability of being on Times 100 most influential people of the year is about 1 in 70 million. The statistics continue. The odds are in fact stacked against us.
While these statistics are obvious, we do not seem to consider them when we set out on our life journeys. We ignore them, and vow to be better. When failure comes, we are shocked. We do not understand where it came from. We do not understand how we could have failed when our parents were so convinced that we would change the world.
We fail to account for statistics as well as other things that are very important to our journeys. Luck or (mis)fortune and environment all play an important role. Not knowing this, we become depressed when we do not make progress in becoming renowned persons. Parents perhaps are not trying to be malicious. They just see how much potential we have and they encourage us, more or less to disastrous ends.
I believe parents should temper their optimism with a dose of statistical realism. They should change their statements to their children from the current cheery/hopeful one to something more down to earth.
"Son/daughter, you can become anything you want in life. But you know what, the chances of overcoming the obstacles, being lucky enough and so on are very slim. And that's ok. Wherever you end up in life, that will be ok."
That, to me, is the kindest thing we can do for the next generation.
"Even the president?" We'd ask unconvinced.
"Yes, you could even become the richest man in the world!"
All this fascinated us. We vowed to ourselves that we'd in fact become people of substance who would be recognized in the entire world for our achievements. We'd ride in super-yachts like Abramovich and the rest of the mega-rich. We would produce life changing inventions, innovating our way to stardom. We'd become the next prodigy in music and sports.
All this is well and good, meant to lift our spirits. Assessing our lives however, no matter how much effort we have put in to realize our dreams and visions, they have eluded us. We have become adept at doing other things though: commenting on FB posts, retweets, identifying the hottest political issues and so on. We have in fact become what we vowed to shun, ordinary people. So, what went wrong?
The average driver thinks that he/she is above average. When we start a business, apparently the chances of closing shop in 10 years is 96% (or so). The chance of us being on earth right now is 1 in 200 million (sperms that fertilize the egg). The chance of being a billionaire is 1 in about 3 million. The probability we will win a Nobel peace prize each year is about 1 in 7 billion. The probability of being on Times 100 most influential people of the year is about 1 in 70 million. The statistics continue. The odds are in fact stacked against us.
While these statistics are obvious, we do not seem to consider them when we set out on our life journeys. We ignore them, and vow to be better. When failure comes, we are shocked. We do not understand where it came from. We do not understand how we could have failed when our parents were so convinced that we would change the world.
We fail to account for statistics as well as other things that are very important to our journeys. Luck or (mis)fortune and environment all play an important role. Not knowing this, we become depressed when we do not make progress in becoming renowned persons. Parents perhaps are not trying to be malicious. They just see how much potential we have and they encourage us, more or less to disastrous ends.
I believe parents should temper their optimism with a dose of statistical realism. They should change their statements to their children from the current cheery/hopeful one to something more down to earth.
"Son/daughter, you can become anything you want in life. But you know what, the chances of overcoming the obstacles, being lucky enough and so on are very slim. And that's ok. Wherever you end up in life, that will be ok."
That, to me, is the kindest thing we can do for the next generation.
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